Month: July 2016

Don’t Yuck Another’s Yum

I once had a coworker who would always made lunch interesting.  She was always curious to see what others had for lunch and would often compliment them on what they had to eat.  If someone else would comment negatively toward another food she would simply say, “don’t yuck another’s yum.”

Always thought was a cute and funny little saying. One I picked up. I use it when my four year old says something is yucky without trying, especially if it something given to him from someone outside the family!  We tell him, ” Don’t yuck someone else’s yum, especially if you won’t even try it.” We would would modify to it include when his sister, our 19 month old, eats sand from the sand table or random things from the ground/floor BUT that is just gross so we let that slide.

The more I try to teach this philosophy to my kids, the more I realize it is not just food that this is applied to in life.  The age old debate between parents and their kids about hair, dress and music are proof of this.  Can you remember thinking your parents music was lame and your parents couldn’t understand how you could like yours. . . yeah, those were the days!

In a time when there is a lot of hate and anger being spewed it reminds me of the phrase “Don’t yuck another’s yum.”

So you do not agree with someones politics, debate it but don’t hate it.  You don’t like something someone shares or posts and can’t be civil, scroll on.  Don’t like some one’s parenting style, but no one is in danger, walk on.

We do not have to agree with everyone all the time, but we do not have to spew hate either.  And that reminds me of another wise saying, this time from my youth . . . you catch more flies with honey.

What do you Choose?

Typically we do not watch the news in our home. Will turn it on for the weather report and then the children’s shows come on.  We do this not because we want to turn a blind eye to the world today or ignorance is bliss but more because we want our kids to live this time of innocence in happiness and love.

This world is filled with so much hate and anger  right now.  It saddens me that we as a people still fear what they do not understand.  This has been human instinct since the beginning of time, but it is time we evolve past it.  Over the thousands of years we have existed on this planet humans have insisted on classifying things, places, ourselves.  We classify by where something lives, what they eat, how they feed their young, and what they look like.  In addition, humans also classify each other  by the homes we live in, the religion we practice, the vehicle we drive, the clothes we wear, our hair, make up, education, job.  We judge all of these  things and define them based on what?  Happenstance of birth?

I am not going to lie.

I will judge you.

I will classify you.

This division will be based on how you treat others.   Are you nice? Real nice or fake nice?  Are you really trying or just going through the motions? I will understand if its a one time deal, we all have our off days.  Though if every time I see you your behavior is poor, you treat others as less, you laugh at instead of help, I will judge you. These behaviors are not acceptable in my world.  In my world, we choose love, compassion, understanding without being bully or push over.

When putting my children to bed every night I tell them a story.  The story is about a child who is brave, strong, kind, smart, clever, caring, defends those who need help, shares with others, and knows when enough is enough.  Somehow their names are always the same as my kids . . . because we teach love, compassion and understanding at a young age.  Most kids are born with it.  In order to retain it in the judgmental classifying world, we need to reinforce the behaviors we want our children to have, not just reprimand the ones we don’t want them to have.

We choose love, how about you?


Character Development

Recently I joined a beta group for a friend of mine whom is starting to write adult Science Fiction.  Love to help them out, but finding it also helping me with  my writing.  After helping with some story development I decided I needed to structure my stories and characters a bit more and get the ideas out of my head and on “paper”.

Between, kids, work, and every day life I have slowly started adding character development sheets for the people of The Forgotten.  Of course the main players were the easiest to start with.  Most of them were already jotted down in my notebook.  A few of the people that have been clamoring to get out of my head are for the future, but they seem to really want their story told.  Instead of jotting down randomly in a notebook I am trying to keep everything a bit more organized with transferring to my computer . . . don’t worry everything is pass word protected!

One person in particular was born from a very special family member asking if they could be in my story.  I of course said yes.  I knew at once who they would become, the fit was perfect.  Both love a good story, both have confidence issues, both are searching to find themselves.

This person whose personality fits the character in the story so well recently started to find themselves.  They are on a road that could be littered with major hurtles and obstacles. This person whom I love as much as one of my own children is transgender.  In a world where hate for being “different”  is breeding faster than love, this person who is so dear to me is going to be judged for what they are instead of who they are and it breaks my heart.   People fear what they do not understand and with an estimate of  only .3 percent of the US population being transgender, this is a huge unknown for many.

I am now seriously considering making the character who fits this beautiful person perfectly also transgender.  Not to prove a point, nor to hit a hot button for so many but to stay true to the person whom inspired them.

As my writing is geared for Teens (maybe some preteens if they are at a higher reading level and the parents are active in their lives) I personally think they can handle the knowledge of this character.  Was such a shock for most of to discover Dumbledore is/was gay?  Some parents may have a problem with this topic being introduced to our children.  My thoughts are if a teen who is growing up in a world were this topic is often seen in media cannot handle it in a book, should we not as adults, parents, use this as a teachable moment to show compassion?

I understand for some this is a religious issue.  I can understand and empathize.  Will you give others the same courtesy? will you give compassion instead of anger? Will you spread love instead of hate? Will you help lower the teen bullying and suicide rate? I truly hope you will . . . would also like to see if you can figure out the character before the reveal.